reality scares me.
my own breath like a whisper
that the world spins round.
dismantle this paradise
nothing seems real anymore
so i retreat into repetition.
see the corners of the room
it’s so dark, do you believe in them?
I’m on a beach smoking
sipping a whiskey in my left hand.
so don’t tell me
get up and try again
cuz the only thing i need
to get is my fix.
this obsession is killing me
but i love it
these walls close on me
and i’ll let them
and as i fade away into obscurity
laughing at the end of this bottle
screaming fuck it, I’m happily sedated.
i’m the king of nothing
my kingdom lies empty
walk with me and you’ll see
how everything was thrown away
love, courage, commitment to change
all these things fell away
in the silence of my addiction
to full throttle in my own direction
so this wasteland you see
there’s hidden beauty here
I’ve learned the future’s for discovering
so welcome to my prison sentence
and as I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil
I’m screaming fuck it, I’m happily sedated.
If getting to Heaven means ‘living on high’
Then God’s right, I don’t deserve any of it.
I’ll still be dragging my cross
the weight of my sins like chains to the grave.
exhale. escape from yourself
talking to myself on the road to hell
Are you lost? or something else?
Seems like you’ve been here before.
Now I’m thinking Mom I love you
where have I been for you?
I’m sorry for the things I said to you.
And now I’m thinking Dad, where were you?
I needed a man other than myself
to get up and walk with me, at least talk with me.
I’m living in hell.
And my regrets of the past and who I am
Every day THEY ARE MY CHOICE
And I accept that.
But these demons run circles round me
As I’m on my knees crying by her grave,
reading her name, praying for clarity
I understand there’s too much love in me
and say fuck it, I can’t live sedated.